


The Adventures of Dad Sirius

by vague_ambition



Series: to love and be loved [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (mentioned) - Freeform, 5+1 Things, ALL THE FLUFF, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Baby Teddy Lupin, Canonical Character Death, Dad!Remus, Dad!Sirius, Domestic Fluff, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Growing Up, M/M, POV Sirius Black, Post-Canon, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Teenage Drama, kind of, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-11-18 14:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vague_ambition/pseuds/vague_ambition
Summary: 5 firsts in Sirius's role as Teddy’s father, +1 different fatherly milestone





	1. Finding Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series that I've been working on, but the fics Up in Our Bedroom After The War and Love, Where it Can Be Found are probably the most important to understanding what's happening here! It's a timestamp/post-work for Up in Our Bedroom, and the first chapter takes place almost immediately after Ch 9 of Bedroom, several months before the epilogue (Ch 10). All chapters except the 6th are in chronological order, but the 6th isn't for reasons that will become clear. See [https://archiveofourown.org/works/16625432]() for why Remus and Sirius are still alive! Enjoy!
> 
> Some language and discussion of sex

_July 1998_

 

Sirius wasn’t sure if he could handle the way Remus was looking at him. It was somewhat similar to how he had stared at him when they first got together, the summer they were on the run together in South America. Then, too, he had looked at Sirius as though he couldn’t really be there, as though Sirius was just too good to be true. The disbelief was still there, but it had taken on a new dimension. Remus was looking at Sirius as though--as though he had come back from the dead.

Well, Remus was justified in _that_ , Sirius supposed. After all, he had. Remus had wrestled him back from the dead with his bare hands, more accurately.

It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t love the way Remus was looking at him, or anything of the sort. It was that he was not Merlin’s-gift-to-Remus-kind, because he was a disaster, a fuck up, a waste of air, a--he felt overwhelmingly cold, untethered, alone, and--

“Sirius, can you hear me, love?” Remus’s voice broke through the ringing in his ears and heartbeat pounding in his head. He lifted his eyes to meet Remus’s warm brown ones.

“Hey--sorry--” he managed. Remus’s face split into a beautiful smile and Sirius was instantly warmed by it.

“Lost you for a minute there,” Remus said. “You okay? Want to continue talking, or rest?” Sirius thought for a moment, remembering Healer Clearwater’s assurances that this kind of...brain lapse, he supposed, was okay. He was okay.

“Just keep going, as long as you don’t mind repeating yourself,” he decided, managing a weak smile. “Tell me--what did you do while I was not-dead?” To his surprise, Remus flushed a rather fetching shade of pink. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. “Sorry, let me change the question,” he amended, disbelievingly. “ _Who_ did you do?”

Remus was no longer flushing pink, now becoming almost dangerously red.

“Re?” Sirius urged. Remus’s eyes darted around their hospital room. “Come on, babe, I was mostly-dead. I’m not going to be upset about it. Unless it was like...Snivellus.”

“I would _never,_ ” Remus objected, his horror at Sirius’s comment breaking his silence. “Look--it was kind of a friends with benefits thing?--I mean, we loved each other but we weren’t _in love_ with each other--we lived together but it wasn’t like--we both lost someone and we were comforting each other--”

“Re!” Sirius exclaimed, shocking Remus out of his rambling. “Honestly, it’s okay! Just...who was it?”

“Erm?” Remus started, before getting so quiet that Sirius couldn’t really hear him. “Dora.”

“Who?” Sirius asked, nudging him.

“Nymphadora,” he muttered, still inaudible enough that Sirius could have sworn he misheard.

“Remus, darling, just tell me--audibly, this time,” he wheedled, not sure if he should be upset or amused.

“Tonks!” Remus shouted, finally. Sirius stared at him in shock. “I was...with Dora, okay?”

Amused. He should definitely be amused.

“I died. And you fucked. My _cousin_?!” he snickered. “What, babe, needed to keep it in the crazy, inbred family?”

“It was her idea…” Remus sounded remarkably petulant, which made Sirius laugh harder. “After Em--” He cut off, and Sirius stopped laughing as he realized what Remus and Tonks sleeping together meant.

“Emmeline died?” He asked. Sadly, slowly, Remus nodded. Merlink. Who else had died since--since he had?

“Not long after--you,” Remus got out.

“Poor Dora…” Sirius felt a deep pang of sympathy for his cousin. After a few moments of silence, though, Sirius remembered how they got to the subject of Emmeline in the first place. “You slept with her! My baby cousin! Oh--I am going to give her _such_ a hard time for sleeping with my boyfriend after I _died,_ ” he whooped. This was priceless, he couldn’t wait to--

He caught sight of Remus’s face. He wasn’t laughing. Why--

“Re?” He asked, his laugh dying in his throat. “Is...is Dora--?” Remus nodded, and Sirius felt suddenly, unexpectedly like the floor had dropped out from under him. He had loved Dora since she was just a baby, and now she was just-- “How? When?”

“At the Battle of Hogwarts--the last battle of the war. She wasn’t supposed to be there!” Remus burst out, and Sirius couldn’t be even a little upset at him because he looked so fucking heartbroken. Even if they hadn’t been ‘in love,’ he could tell that Remus had cared deeply for Dora. “She was supposed to be at Andromeda’s with Teddy, but she left him with her mother and came--she came to--” A sob escaped him, and Sirius squeezed his hand, his mind going a mile a minute. Teddy--Ted was Dora’s father’s name--but Remus had said Andromeda’s, not the Tonks’s, which made Sirius think that Ted could be dead--was--

“Remus…?” Sirius asked after a few minutes. Remus raised his head to look at him, his eyes watery. “Who’s Teddy?” Remus looked startled--it seemed as though he had brought him up by accident. “Re...why was Dora supposed to hang back with Teddy?”

“He’s...erm…” Remus took a deep breath, seemingly steeling himself. “He’s my son. Mine and Dora’s. He’s just over three months old, and his hair color changes every day, and he’s _so tiny_ Sirius, but so perfect.” He reached for his wallet, fumbling, while Sirius stared at him in shock.

“You had...a son? With my second cousin?” Sirius asked, somewhat rhetorically. Remus froze, guilt flashing across his face.

“It was an accident?” he offered. Sirius chuckled--somehow, he still wasn’t upset. He had been good as dead, and now Dora _was_ dead. He was lucky to even be able to talk to Remus, no point in wasting time being angry. Remus began moving again, pulling a creased photograph out of his wallet. In it, a newborn baby gurgled, bright blue hair visible as he shook his little fists around.

“This is him?” Sirius said, needlessly, staring, enchanted by the photo. Remus, his face lighting up, smiled at the image.

“That’s Teddy,” he confirmed. Sirius tore his eyes away from the photo and reached for Remus.

“Hey--” He smiled, tilting Remus’s chin toward him. He captured his mouth in a gentle, loving kiss. “I can’t wait to meet him, Re.”

Remus’s face split into another broad smile, which Sirius quickly chased, kissing him again.

“Okay. So let me get this straight,” Sirius said, a few minutes later, pulling away from Remus with a gently teasing tone. “You had a friends-with-benefits thing with my favorite cousin, screwed her, and accidentally got her pregnant, resulting in this--” he gestured toward the photo, “--angel. Anything I’ve missed? Other lovers? Adopted pets?”

“Well,” Remus clearly hesitated. “Dora and I did get married."

“You did _WHAT?”_


	2. Babysitting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius's first time babysitting Teddy goes...about how you would expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set a month or so after the first chapter, and still in between Ch 9 and Ch 10 of Bedroom!

_September 1998_

 

“You fought in two wars. You survived twelve years in the worst prison known to man. You came back from the dead. You can do this,” Sirius told himself in the mirror, trying to ignore how pale he was. It had been a little over a month since Remus had brought him back from the veil, and for once, the dark circles under his eyes were not because of imprisonment or illness or anything, but from--

A wail came from the room next door, and Sirius quickly finished washing his hands to exit the bathroom and pick up Teddy Lupin.

“Shh, shh,” he murmured, bouncing him as he had seen Remus do countless times. “Daddy’ll be back in...a few hours,” he said, his stomach sinking in dread. He had never been the sole caretaker of Teddy before, but for once, everybody else was busy. Harry and Ron were out doing some kind of test to enter the Aurors, and Hermione was out picking up school books. He had no sense of where Neville, or Minerva, or anyone else who was staying at headquarters-turned-halfway-house during the Hogwarts reconstruction, was. So it fell on him, the magic-damaged zombie, to take care of an infant.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t taken care of a child before--he had spent countless hours with Harry when he was a baby, and even more with Reg. But that had been a lifetime, and death, ago and now he sometimes lapsed in the middle of conversation, or forgot that Remus was bouncing his son, not James’s on his lap, or...what if he dropped him? What if he accidentally hurt him? What if he just didn’t remember he was watching him?

His thoughts were thrown off by a high pitched squeal from the baby in his arms. Sirius shook himself and tried to clear his head. Right. Baby. Focus.

“Hey lil guy. How are you?” he said, feeling a bit daft for asking an infant a question when there was no possible way for him to respond. Teddy let out another squeal and then screwed up his little face. In no time at all, his hair turned the same shade as Sirius’s. “Wow, look at you!” Maybe he did understand more than Sirius was giving him credit for.

“Come on, what shall we do?” Sirius asked, bouncing Teddy over to the play area they had set up for him. Teddy gurgled and reached for the new rattle that Remus had bought him sometime last week, to Sirius’s chagrin,-- “Sirius, it says when babies are four months they like things with noise and bright colors!” “How could you possibly ask a baby that, Re?”-- thus proving Remus, unfortunately, correct. “Traitor.” Sirius told the baby, who just babbled in response.

Okay. He could do this. Sure, the constant rattling was a little irritating, but one look at the sheer delight on Teddy’s face was enough to put aside any annoyance.

“Do you like your toys, kiddo?” Sirius asked. Teddy shook the rattle with more vigor, which he took to be a yes. “You know, I grew up in this house too. Didn’t have toys then, though, just things we ‘musn’t touch.’” Sympathetically, Teddy dropped the rattle and began to suck on his own little fist. “None of these big windows we’ve got, either. All gloom and doom. I’m glad that you don’t have to deal with that.”

Teddy, ever the active listener, made some word-esque babbling noises. Sirius chuckled at him.

“Yeah, me too, kid,” he smiled. “Maybe in a little while, we can move somewhere new. I think your dad wouldn’t mind, hmm?” Teddy was clearly in agreement. “Okay, do you want to do peek-a-boo?”

***

Playtime was fun, but the real challenges began when Teddy’s diaper started to smell. Remus insisted on changing them the Muggle way, after having read in some parenting book that using a cleaning spell could cause a painful rash. Sirius thought it was worth a try anyway, but Remus had fixed him with a stare that clearly said he was not going to back down, ever. It wasn’t like it was his first time changing Teddy’s diaper--it wasn’t even his first time this week--but he didn’t enjoy the task.   

“Come on, kiddo. We’re gonna do this nice and quick, no funny business, okay?” He tickled Teddy under the chin just a little bit as he lay him down on the changing table and eased off his diaper.

Teddy was, apparently, not amused, because he immediately peed, hitting Sirius directly in the face as he tried to change Teddy’s diaper. Great. Just great.

“This counts as funny business, you know?” Sirius cringed, wiping his face. Teddy just stared up at him, his eyes solemn. Shaking his head, Sirius finished changing the diaper and went to scrub his face. Eight times.

***

Teddy, it would seem, did not stop fussing once he began. Sirius had changed his diaper, fed him, burped him, and still couldn’t figure out what he was upset about. He had tried bringing him back to his toys, which was apparently not at all what he wanted, if the increased wailing was any indication.

It was bordering on thirty minutes since the fussing had grown into full-blown crying, and Sirius was losing his mind. He walked the length of the bottom floor of Grimmauld Place, back and forth, rocking Teddy as he had seen Remus do. For a moment, he had thought it would work, but it turned out Teddy was merely taking a breath between screams.

“What’s wrong, hmm?” Sirius tried to keep his voice soothing and even, not wanting to startle Teddy into more crying, despite his frustration. “You don’t want to walk, and you don’t want to play...what do you want, kiddo?” To his surprise, Teddy’s crying calmed down a little at the sound of his voice. “You want to talk?” Sirius asked, startled. Teddy gave a hiccuping sob at a distinctly lower volume than before.

Sirius moved to the couch in the sitting room and sat down, cradling Teddy in his arms.

“Okay…” he began. “Why don’t I tell you a story about three of the cleverest, most handsome boys that there ever were…”

***

When Remus walked in a few hours later, his meeting having gone longer than expected and his visit to Gringotts turning into a complete ordeal, he was greeted with a sight that made him wish he had a camera in hand. Sirius sat slumbering peacefully on the couch, with Teddy contentedly tucked against him, letting out little huffing breaths. Remus tiptoed past, not wanting to wake either, unable to hide the grin on his face at the sight of his partner and his son cuddling. It would seem Sirius’s first time babysitting was a success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. it's babysitting, not normal fatherhood activities because Sirius and Remus haven't yet had the conversation that happens in Ch 10 of Bedroom where Remus assures Sirius that he's Teddy's dad, as well.


	3. “Dad”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius has known for a long time that Remus considers him Teddy’s (other) father but this is even better.

_May 2000_

It was two weeks before the end of Sirius’s third term teaching that it happened. He had spent a particularly long time in his office that day, with students hounding him with questions about their upcoming exams. It was rather difficult to answer their interrogations about what would be on the test, given that he hadn’t written the tests yet. He supposed he hadn’t changed all that much since Hogwarts, as it was.

He trudged back alone to Hogsmeade in the fading light, electing for a walk rather than the Floo for the sole reason that he hadn’t been outside all day. He completely understood why most of the other teachers took the Hogwarts quarters offered them--he and Professor Vector were probably the only ones who lived in Hogsmeade instead. He spent most of his time at the school anyway. It seemed strange to him that after spending half of his life longing for Hogwarts and his time there, he was happy to leave it every day. The things that being in love and free changed. Plus, it was nice to be able to nip out to the Head, or Broomsticks when he wanted to. Not to mention, unlike Hogwarts, you _could_ Apparate out of Hogsmeade.

Sirius smiled as he came to the small, red door--Gryffindor colors, he had insisted--next to the bookshop entrance, tapping his wand to the knob once. The door swung forward as the wards recognized him, and he bounded up the stairs two at a time.

“Honey, I’m home!” he called as he shrugged off his robes, handing them to the iron-wrought coat rack they kept at the top of the stairs.

“Shoes off, I can see how muddy it is out there!” Remus called back, the eye-roll almost evident in his tone. Sirius mock saluted, knowing full well that Remus couldn’t see him, as he toed off his treasured Doc Martens.

“Hey, Re,” he greeted his partner with a swift kiss. “Where’s Ted?”

“Playing in his room,” Remus answered with a smile that made Sirius’s heart skip a beat for a moment. Sirius gave a grin of his own in response.

“Is that so? Pretty occupied, would you say?” He asked, leering slightly and wrapping his arms around Remus’s apron-clad waist, rolling his hips for emphasis. Remus rolled his eyes at him again--this time, Sirius had visual confirmation.

“No, you dog. We are not going to do anything with our son awake and in the next room,” Remus said firmly. Sirius feigned distress, but secretly was filled with the rush of joy he felt every time someone referred to Teddy as his son, as well as Remus’s. Remus smiled at him knowingly, so his pouting was clearly ineffective.

“What should I order in?” Sirius asked, pressing his lips against Remus’s jawline. His partner fixed him with a stare.

“Nothing,” he gestured to his apron. “I’m cooking.” Sirius did not need to fake the wince that followed those words.

“Re…” Sirius began in soothing tones, knowing full well how Remus would react to the conversation they had at least once a fortnight. “You’re really good at so many things...just not cooking. Or potions, for that matter. They’re kind of similar, right?” Remus just glared at him. “Come on, you’ll poison Teddy.”

“Just for that, you’re banned from the kitchen and sitting room!” Remus huffed, stomping back to the kitchen. “Go play with Teddy, I don’t want to hear your nonsense.” Not bothered enough to argue, Sirius chuckled before turning to Teddy’s room.

Teddy was sitting on the floor surrounded by colorful plastic Muggle blocks that Hermione had recently given them--Let gos or something--and was firmly not building anything. Instead, he was just pounding the floor with two of them.

“That’s not how it works, kiddo,” Sirius said in lieu of a greeting, grabbing the bucket of let gos and pulling it toward Teddy. “See, you combine them!”

Teddy reached into the bucket and grabbed a green let-go. “Green!” he exclaimed, promptly changing his hair to match the color. He had recently begun the whole colors thing in earnest, and greatly enjoyed using his hair to communicate the color he was thinking of.

“Great work!” Sirius chuckled. “What next?” He expected Teddy to grab another let-go from the box and change his hair accordingly but instead...

“Daddy go green!” Teddy shouted. Sirius stared at him.

“What did you say?” he asked.

“Daddy go green!” Teddy repeated, somewhat impatiently, and gestured at Sirius’s hair. Hand shaking, Sirius pulled out his wand and touched it to the roots of his hair, turning it green with a simple charm to match Teddy’s. Teddy clapped his hands together in delight. “Good!” he pronounced.

“Good…” Sirius repeated, still stunned. “Remus?” he raised his voice a little bit, only to be met with the sound of several things crashing and some swearing. Teddy turned to face the door, his eyes wide. A few moments later, a sheepish looking Remus appeared with that looked like tomatoes and soot in his hair.

“Yes, dear?” he said, rather shiftly.

“Da!” Teddy shrieked in delight. “Da! Look! Daddy go green!” Remus looked at Sirius, and his eyes widened.

“Indeed, Ted. It looks like your daddy did turn his hair green,” he confirmed, nodding solemnly.

“Remus, did he just call me…” Sirius half whispered. Remus smiled, softly, and nodded again. Any lingering questions Sirius had were solved when Teddy suddenly launched himself into Sirius’s lap.

“Daddy. We miss you.” he said, suddenly serious as he wrapped his arms around Sirius. “No more hog-was.”

Sirius chuckled, blinking to hide the fact that he was tearing up. “Only two more weeks, okay? Then we have the whole summer for adventures, how’s that sound?”

“Yes!” Teddy bounced up and down in Sirius’s lap. “No more hog-was!” He set off humming lightly in delight and Sirius kept staring at him in disbelief. Teddy turned back to his let-gos and grabbed a red one, before scrunching up his face and changing his hair to match it. He looked at Sirius, grinning. “Daddy! Go red!” Sirius obliged and Teddy shrieked with delight again.

“Erm...Pads?” Remus said, as Teddy went to grab another lets-go. “...how does curry take out sound?”

Sirius threw back his head and laughed, until both of the other members of their little family joined in.


	4. First Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several firsts of Teddy’s first year: first class with Sirius, first time he gets detention, first time Sirius gives him detention, and first end of the year feast!

_3 September 2009_

Sirius took a deep breath before flinging open the doors to his classroom, robes flowing out behind him dramatically with a very handy charm he was pretty sure Snivellus used, if Harry’s stories of Potions Class were any indication. There was an instant, satisfying hush as some thirty students’ faces turned to look at him, small and anxious. Sirius smirked a little bit as he hit halfway down the classroom aisle, turned into Padfoot, and bounded the rest of the way to his desk before changing back. 

The now-familiar murmurings of shock and awe swept through the room, and Sirius tried not to smile outright at it. One student, however, seemed unimpressed, rolling his eyes. Sirius chose to ignore that for the time being. 

“Hello, and welcome to your first Transfiguration class,” he said, smiling. “I am Professor Sirius Black--former Gryffindor, formerly convicted criminal, war hero of not one but two Wizarding Wars, still devastatingly handsome, and yes, an Animagus. Can anyone tell me what that last one means?” He looked across the classroom and noted, to his satisfaction, that a couple students did look starstruck. Good. Nearly fifty years old and he still had it--that was something to brag to Moony about later. 

One hand went up, while the rest of the class looked appropriately bewildered. Sirius wasn’t surprised. It was Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors--statistically highest population of Muggleborns, and lowest of people likely to obsessively read beforehand, with the occasional exception.

“Yes, go ahead.” Sirius said, once he was sure that only one person had the answer.

“An Animagus is a witch or wizard who can change into a particular animal at will. It’s a highly difficult and dangerous bit of transformation, which is why all Animagi are required to and _should_ register at the Ministry before even attempting it,” came the bored sounding answer. Little swot.

“Very good,” Sirius nodded, attempting to keep his face neutral. “Five points to Hufflepuff.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Teddy said, clearly knowing exactly what he was doing. Several heads whipped around and stared at him before turning back to Sirius.

“And yes,” Sirius said, resigned to his fate. “I am also Teddy Lupin-Black’s father, but there will be no preferential treatment. Trust me. Even if I don’t give him detention--although I will, if he earns one--I have eleven years’ worth of embarrassing stories to use against him.” He fixed his mischievous son with a stern look. Teddy just turned his hair bright pink in response, to the alarm of several classmates. Sirius looked to his class to see a hand waving in the air from the Hufflepuff section of the room.

“Yes, Miss...Moore?” he asked. The girl in question pushed her glasses up her nose and beamed.

“Please, sir, is it true that you snuck out of Azkaban in your Animagus form?” she asked. Not entirely surprising, that had made it into a few history books. Before Sirius could answer, a Hufflepuff boy spoke up.

“Yes, and is it true that you became an illegal Animagus at fifteen?” he added. Now, Sirius was shocked--at McGonagall’s request, he didn’t tell students about that until the end of their seventh year, and only then if they promised not to repeat it.  

“Did you really once make everything in the Great Hall explode into fireworks?” chimed in the boy sitting next to Teddy. All at once, Sirius realized what was happening.

“Did...Teddy, have you been spreading stories about me in the Hufflepuff dormitories?” he asked. Teddy smiled sheepishly.

“Technically, no…” he explained. “But I did tell some people some stuff about my dads when we were talking about families, and it’s not _my_ fault that one of ‘em is also everybody’s teacher.” Bugger.

“Ah. Well,” for the first time in ages, Sirius felt thrown off by his first year class. “Well, yes, I did sneak out of Azkaban in my Animagus form, I prefer not to answer about when I became an Animagus because it is highly illegal to attempt something like that at fifteen and as your teacher I can absolutely not suggest that that is possible, let alone advisable, and yes, I did explode all the food in the Great Hall. Twice.” 

The students looked suitably impressed. Good.

“Now...for Transfiguration,” he began, turning to the board.

***

_2 November 2009_

“Malfoy!” Sirius bellowed, striding into the Potion Master’s quarters. Draco Malfoy had only been working as the Hogwarts Potion Master for two years now, since Slughorn’s long-necessary retirement. Sirius had been distraught at first--not because he hated Malfoy, he had long since been talked out of hatred for all-things-Malfoy by Remus, and Andromeda, and Harry’s gratitude for Narcissa, and Hermione’s insistence on post-war harmony. But Malfoy had been working in the Mungo’s Experimental Ward, where Healer Clearwater also worked, and there had been whisperings of a more effective Wolfsbane Potion in the works. Sirius had gotten over his disappointment however, when he realized that Malfoy was not only a much better professor than Slug had been, but he was still continuing his research, to the point where he had some NEWT students work as research assistants. Lils would have loved an opportunity like that.

Now, though, Malfoy was in trouble.

“Draco Malfoy!” he yelled again. A pointy blonde face appeared in the doorway to Malfoy’s experimentation lab.

“I know Gryffindors are notoriously loud, but is this really necessary? You’re in my quarters. I can hear you.” he griped, seemingly disconcerted by Sirius’s irateness.

“Did you give my son detention for tomorrow?” Sirius demanded. Malfoy rolled his eyes as if he was suspecting this objection.

“Yes, Black, I gave your son--and my cousin, might I add--detention because, although he is the son of a Hogwarts professor, and the godson of another one, and the cousin of a third, he is not to get special treatment. And trust me, I was being lenient. That child of yours is a menace.”

“He is _not_ \--” Sirius began, heatedly, before Malfoy cut him off.

“He kept turning into other students during Double Potions, waiting until the student he was imitating was away from their cauldron, and then went up to their partner and told them to do the wrong thing. He single handedly caused four cauldrons to explode, including his own,” he reported calmly.

Sirius swore. “He did _what?!_ Bloody menace.” Malfoy--Draco, now that Sirius was no longer fuming--nodded.

“So you see why I had to give him detention,” he continued in the same, even tone.

“Yes but why did it have to be tomorrow?!” Sirius was reminded of one of the reasons he was most upset by this. “You know it’s my fiftieth birthday, you’ve been bloody invited. Remus is closing down the shop and everything and Harry is hosting at Grimmauld...now not only will you not be there, my _son_ won’t be there AND he’s on track to best every prank I ever pulled by the end of his third year, if he’s doing something like that within the first two months!”

He honestly wasn’t sure which he was angrier about.

Draco looked taken aback for a moment, and then rearranged his face into its standard composed mask. “My apologies,” he said, somewhat awkwardly. Sirius chuckled inwardly--even after his mass round of post-war apologies, Draco Malfoy had never quite gotten the hang of saying he was sorry. “I must have forgotten the date. I will reschedule Teddy’s detention for Wednesday...unless you have some kind of anniversary I have also forgotten?” The last comment was in his typical snide manner. All was right with the world.

“No, just the big five-oh,” Sirius said. “Cheers, Malfoy. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” He turned to leave when--

“Sirius?” Draco called. Sirius spun back around to look at him. “Any advice for what kind of detention Ted will hate the most?”

Sirius grinned. “He hates slimy things, make him sort through some of those.”

***

 _Late February 2010_  

Sirius loved his son. He did. He was so lucky to have a son. He was also, potentially going to murder him.

“Please explain to me _exactly_ what you were doing in the second floor girls’ bathroom at two in the morning?” he asked, exasperated. Despite living in Hogsmeade, he did join the professor rota to patrol the corridors, as much as his younger self would hate it. And, just his luck, he managed to catch his son along with Emma Goldstein and Thomas Jones, two other Hufflepuffs in his year. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that the havoc he wreaked in his first year meant he shouldn’t be surprised, but it was very different facing down his eleven year old son at fifty, than facing down McGonagall at eleven.

“We were lost?” tried Jones.

“At two in the morning? Where were you trying to go?”

 “See, Tommy here was sleepwalking,” Goldstein began. “And Teddy and I realized, so we went to find him!”

“Nice try, Miss Goldstein,” Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. “But given that you do not sleep in the boys’ dormitory, it seems unlikely that you would discover Mr. Jones’s absence. Teddy?”

Teddy looked down at his shoes, uncharacteristically bashful. “Ted?” Sirius prompted. “Why were you in Myrtle’s bathroom?”

“We...wanted to find the Chamber of Secrets,” Teddy finally muttered, refusing to meet Sirius’s eyes. 

Sirius saw red for a moment.

“You were searching for the Chamber of Secrets?” he repeated, struggling to keep his tone even.

Teddy looked up, a defiant look on his face. “Well, Harry did it when he was twelve! So we figured we’d beat them to it, find it when we were eleven!”

Sirius sighed. “Ted. Harry found the Chamber of Secrets because Ginny was kidnapped and he didn’t have a choice, and you know that. Harry also fought a war when he was seventeen, but that doesn’t mean you should.”

 “Well, what if someone I care about gets kidnapped!?” Teddy asked. Sometimes Sirius wondered if they had told him about the war too early. 

“Then you come and get me, or Harr--Professor Potter, or you Floo-call home, or you get Professor Malfoy, or Professor Mcgonagall. It isn’t like it was when Harry was in school--and even then, he probably should not have done all the things he did!”

“You broke the rules all the time too!” Teddy objected, crossing his arms in front of his chest and scowling in a way that was heart wrenchingly reminiscent of the way Tonks would glare if someone called her Nymphadora.

“I didn’t try to get into the Chamber of bloody Secrets when I was eleven!” Sirius shot back.

“Only because you didn’t know it existed,” Teddy pointed out. Okay. That was fair. “There are all these stories that you and Da told me about the Marauders and what you got up to in school and then Gran and you guys tell me all about mum and Harry and Ron and Hermione did so much and even Draco played pranks on Harry and I want my stories too!”

Sirius sighed, crouching down so his face was even with Teddy’s. “Teddy, half the things Harry and Ron and Hermione did they did because their lives were in danger. Those pranks you’re thinking about escalated, and trust me, Draco had to do much more than just play pranks in school. As for your Da and I, we were nightmares. It’s a miracle we didn’t get expelled, or killed.”

“What about Mum?” He asked, quietly. Sirius smiled softly.

“Your mum always was a riot,” he began, wishing he had more information on the cousin he barely had the time to get to know. “But I think maybe if you have to emulate one of us, copy her. I don’t think her Hogwarts years were nearly as dangerous. But Ted—you don’t have to copy anyone. All you have to do is be Teddy, not me, not your mum or Da, not Harry. You’re a wizard, and you can change appearance at will. Trust me, you’ll have more than enough of your own stories without trying to follow in our footsteps. That’s what’s good about Hogwarts. You get seven years here to learn and grow, and you can decide exactly who Teddy Lupin is all for yourself. With _out_ 2am Chamber adventures.”

“Teddy Lupin-Black,” Teddy murmured in correction.

”Teddy Lupin-Black,” Sirius agreed, touched  

Teddy nodded, slightly teary-eyed. “Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.” He wrapped his arms around Sirius, hugging tightly. “Well,” he began, pulling back. “I guess we should go back to bed.” 

“Not so fast, young man.” Sirius shook his head, although he knew his eyes betrayed his amusement at Teddy’s attempt. “I’m afraid that one thing those stories failed to mention is the amount of detention you get for a stunt like this. Fifty points from Hufflepuff, for starters, and each of you has a detention. I think Professors Potter and Malfoy will be happy to assist me in reminding you why you shouldn’t try to copy our school days.”

***

_June 2010_

Hufflepuff did not win the House Cup, and Sirius felt as though his son was at least partially to blame. Although his detentions had dropped off after what Sirius mentally referred to as the Chamber incident, Teddy had impersonated every member of the staff at least once throughout the year, to his peers’ amusement and the staff’s chagrin. Perhaps suggesting he emulate Dora had been a bad move.

He had excellent marks in all his subjects, though, and the professors loved him. He was popular with his peers, but hadn’t been associated with any bullying. Sirius was, dare he say, proud.

A loud roar came from the Hufflepuff table where Sirius glanced to see Teddy transforming his nose into various animal snouts—a skill he had only just begun learning at Ginny Potter’s suggestion. 

Merlin. It was going to be a long six years.


	5. First (major) Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Teddy says some horrible things, Sirius misses James, and Harry is pretty insightful for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Teddy is a bit of a jerk at first, but remember that he's a just-turned-16 yo kid who is taught by his dad!

_ June 2014 _

If there was ever a time Sirius needed James, it was now. James knew how to diffuse a situation.  _ James  _ knew what a healthy family looked like. All Sirius has was his fucked up childhood where family fights were resolved by whoever cast the best Crucio. Which did not prepare him for the shit that Teddy was currently pulling. 

“I don’t know why I can’t stay with Tom this summer! He lives in London, and his parents are out of town so I wouldn’t be imposing, and I  _ want  _ to be in London! It’s boring here and I can’t Apparate yet!” Teddy yelled. “I’m sick of Hogsmeade and I’m sick of Hogwarts and I’m sick of YOU!!!” He screamed that last word and Sirius felt a little bit like his heart was breaking. Normally Remus was a little more strict with Teddy at home—since Sirius had to follow rules at school and give him detention, should he earn it—but the full had been yesterday and Remus was in Mungo’s for observation, as it had been the first trial run of Draco and Penelope’s new potion, and everyone else was minding the bookstore. It was almost as though Teddy had waited until the house was completely empty to spring this on Sirius.

This being asking if he could live with his best friend in an adult-less house all summer. And then blowing up when told no. 

“That is exactly why, Ted. We are not letting two barely-sixteen year old wizards gallivant around London unsupervised for a summer.” He was really, really trying to stay calm. “It’s not like you can’t visit him.”

“I don’t want to ask you for permission every time I want to exist outside this stupid town!” Teddy exclaimed. 

“Ted, can we wait till Da is back to talk about this? He had a rough night, you know that.”

“I know, I know, because he’s a  _ werewolf  _ and last night was the full he can’t be a human today or whatever.”

Okay, now Sirius was mad. 

“I do not like your attitude, young man,” he snapped, trying to ignore how much he sounded like Molly Weasley. What would James do in this situation? 

He didn’t know. James never got to see his son turn two, let alone sixteen and angsty. 

Merlin, Harry had been angsty at fifteen. Sirius had missed sixteen but fifteen had been something to behold.

“Well I don’t like  _ you. _ ” Teddy retorted. Yeah, that hurt. He had to be the bigger person. 

“Is this because I took those points away last week?” Sirius asked, sighing. He had found Teddy in a windowsill with a Ravenclaw girl and had to take the standard amount of points away for snogging after hours, which had caused Hufflepuff to lose the House Cup to Gryffindor by a single point. Sirius had not been popular that day. 

Teddy glared at him. “No, it’s because you’re a massive prick who wants to control my life and won’t let me be my own person!”

“It is about the points,” Sirius sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have a choice. I had to sign a bunch of papers with Min—sorry, Professor McGonagall—that swore I would treat you like any other student in academic and disciplinary contexts. So did Draco and Harry. I didn’t have a choice, Ted. I was rooting for Hufflepuff too.”

“No you weren’t, you’re a Gryffindor,” Teddy hissed, with so much venom that Sirius wanted to take a step back. “Anyway, that’s not even it. Do you know how hard it is to try to be your own person when you have two bloody war heroes hanging over you all the time?”

“Language,” Sirius cautioned, out of habit. Wrong move. 

“Fine, do you know what it’s like to try to be your own person when you have two fucking war heroes looking out for you, plus a war criminal?!” Teddy spat. “It sucks! Nobody wants to do fun stuff around you in case you go tattling to your daddy, or the fucking Chosen One, and Merlin forbid having sex with the professor’s son!”

“You are  _ way  _ too young to be having sex!” Sirius exclaimed in horror. Teddy shot him a murderous glare and...yeah, fair, Sirius had definitely had sex at sixteen. “Look,” he said, lowering his voice with some effort. “I can back off. I can tell Harry and Draco to back off too.”

“They’re not the problem,  _ Sirius,”  _ The venom with which Teddy said his name hurt Sirius more than anything he had said thus far. “You are! They don’t stop me from getting to third base, you do. They don’t stop me from having a fucking life outside of this area, you do! You and Da are always saying the war is over but you’re living like I’m in danger every time I step outside! You always want to know where I am and why I’m leaving Hogsmeade and what I’m doing!”

“That’s because we’re your fucking parents!” Sirius shouted back, finally losing his temper. “We’re your parents and we want to make sure you’re safe and okay!”

“You’re not my dad,” Teddy said, suddenly calm. Sirius felt like the floor had dropped out from under him. 

“What?” He said, his voice sounding distant to his own ears.

“You. Are not. My father.” Teddy repeated. “You’re just the guy my dad fucked before and after he was with my mum. He only got back with you when she was  _ dead.  _ If she wasn’t dead, you wouldn’t be here, and we’d be a family. If she wasn’t dead, he wouldn’t have bothered to save you and you’d be dead right now. You’re my  _ cousin,  _ Sirius. You’re not my dad.” 

Okay. Okay. Right. Okay. Sirius felt his heart pounding in his ears as his….not son, as Teddy would . Teddy smirked, cruelly triumphant, and stormed off to his room, slamming the door so hard a family photo on the wall fell and shattered. 

Remus was probably still sleeping. He needed James. James always helped when...

When Harry had told him about the Resurrection Stone, he had spent three days searching the forest floor for it, with no luck. Harry had said, though—Harry!

He grabbed some Floo Powder and muttered through tears: “Number 12 Grimmauld Place.”

***

“Sirius!” Ginny exclaimed as he came out through the grate. She took one look at his face and gave a quick, practical nod. “I’ll get Harry.”

“Thanks,” Sirius choked out. Tactful girl, that Ginny. 

Harry entered a few moments later, a worried look on his face. “Pads?” He asked. Sirius wanted to sob a little bit, with that almost-right face saying that name.

“I have to be honest with you, Harry,” Sirius found himself saying. It wasn’t fair to his godson to not tell him what was going on. “I really wanted to talk to James just now. I know you’re his son, and you never really knew him, but I think that’s why I came here automatically. I really needed my best--” He cut off, sobbing despite himself, and felt Harry wrap his arms around him.

“Sirius,” Harry said. “I’m not Dad, but I care about you too. And I’m flattered you thought of me when you wanted to see him, not offended.” Sirius nodded, not able to speak. “I can’t bring him back, and trust me, I wish I could. I wish I knew him. But I can be here for his best friend, which is pretty cool.” Sirius laughed a little bit. He was Harry’s godfather, he should be comforting Harry, not the other way around, but… “Tell me what happened,” Harry continued.

Sirius told him everything--the points, Teddy’s request, the fight, what Ted had said. Harry winced and made appropriately soothing sounds. 

“You know he’ll regret it soon, right?” Harry said, finally. Sirius looked up at him and he shrugged. “I might not know about having a lovely family, but Ginny and Ron, and Hermione do, and I’ve heard about the awful fights they’ve had with their parents before. Just because they love them doesn’t mean they’ve never had an awful, on-that-level fight. Teddy still loves you, Sirius.” 

“He called me just someone his dad has fucked,” SIrius pointed out. Harry, to his surprise, laughed a little bit.

“So he knew he was lying from the second he said it.” He explained, in response to Sirius’s questioning look. “Anyone with eyes, or half a brain, knows that you and Remus love each other. Sirius, Tonks knew that Remus was in love with you. Nobody thinks you’re a replacement.” 

“Teddy does.” 

“He doesn’t actually think that, Sirius. It would have come up long before now,” Harry reassured him. 

“What do I do, Harry?” Sirius asked his godson, feeling incredibly off balance. He should not be asking his godson for advice.

“Sirius, I know I’m your godson, but I’d like to think we’re kind of friends at this point. Plus, I have three children. And Ron. You can ask me for advice,” Harry said. Sirius realized that he had spoken aloud. “As for what you do…”

“You have an idea?” Sirius looked at him, distraught. He knew his eyes were puffy but honestly, he did not care. 

“Tell him he can come and stay with me for a few weeks. Two, three weeks, whichever you want,” Harry suggested. “As long as he apologizes.”

“Harry, I’m not just going to tell him to apologize to me,” Sirius said, exasperated. “That’ll only make it worse.”

“Tell him you love him,” Harry said. “Tell him he’s your son, no matter what bullshit he says to you. And then tell him that he can stay with me for a few weeks, if he wants some semblance of freedom.”

Sirius stared at his godson. “You know, I think you might have been a better option than James for advice. I don’t think he was ever as mature as you.”

Harry’s face turned solemn for a second. “Well, he didn’t live through a war,” He said, seriously, heart-wrenchingly.

“No. He didn’t.” Sirius agreed. “But he would be so fucking proud of you.” Harry met his eyes.

“I love you, Sirius.” Harry told him. Something they both knew, but rarely stated. “And you’ve helped me a lot. You’ve been the closest thing to a father that I’ve had, except maybe Arthur, and you’re also a friend, and I am so lucky that you are here to be those things for me.” 

Sirius was crying again. Damnit, when did he turn into such a sap.

“Love you too, Prongslet,” Sirius gave him a watery smile. 

“Now go deal with your son.” 

***

When Sirius came back through the Floo, the house was silent. He walked to Teddy’s room and cautiously rapped on the door.

“Go away!” Teddy called. Sirius tried not to get too disheartened. 

“I’m just going to stand out here until you talk to me, Ted.” He was resigned to it.  

“I don’t want to talk!” 

Sixteen year old sulking was something to behold. Sirius took a deep breath and tried to think back on his conversation with Harry.

“Okay, then. I’m just going to talk to you from out here.” He sank back against the wall. “I love you, Teddy. I know I wasn’t even alive when you were born, but I’m so glad I’m alive now to know you. I’m sorry your mum is gone, and I hope you don’t actually blame me for that, but even if she was around, she would want us to be happy together. I knew her well enough to know that, without a doubt.” He took a deep breath. “Teddy, I love Remus. I love your father. I have done since I was your age, if not earlier. I would do anything for him. That’s not to say he’s the only person I’ve ever loved. I loved James Potter too. It was different, of course, he was my best friend, but I would still do anything for him. By extension, Lily too. Harry, I’ve loved since the day he was born. But it’s you, Remus, Harry, and James. You’re the only people who I would, without a question, do anything for. Whatever you need from me, whenever you need me, I’m there. And no, I can’t let you run off to London for a summer, but it isn’t because I don’t love you, or trust you. It’s because I get to be your father. Which is one of the best things I’ve gotten to do in my life, and I became an animagus at fifteen. And that’s what parents--good parents, not like Harry’s aunt and uncle, or my Merlin-forsaken dickwards of parents--do. So please don’t hate me. Because I love you. And it hurts to hear you don’t think of me as your father, but I know you’re capable of making your own decisions on that front.” 

He was crying, but with a small creak, the door to Teddy’s room eased open, showing a boy with light blue eyes and sandy blond hair. He hadn’t changed his appearance. 

“You are my dad.” Teddy said in a small voice. “I’m sorry I said what I said. I love you.” 

Bugger it all, Harry had been right. Maybe he should be taking emotional literacy lessons from the kid. 

“I love you too.” Sirius smiled up at his son from where he was slumped against the wall. 

“I really regret it!” Teddy burst out, in a way that was so Remus-esque that Sirius had to bite back another smile. “I regret everything I said and it was really bad to say and it wasn’t true and...I love you, Dad.” 

“Love you too, kiddo.” Sirius repeated again, pulling Teddy close to him. “Also, you get to stay at Harry and Ginny’s for a couple weeks.” 

“Really?” Teddy was overjoyed. “But don’t you and Dad want me around?” He asked, sounding insecure.

“I’m sorry, what happened to the boy who screamed at me over not getting a holiday in London?” Sirius asked, mock sternly.

“Okay. okay, I can’t wait!” Teddy gave way, laughing.

It was going to be okay. It was just part of having a kid, right?


	6. Another Milestone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is...a big deal to Sirius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not even a muggle scientist, okay, let alone a wizarding one.

_ January 2006 _

Sirius rocked back and forth, glancing between the Prophet in his hands and the door. Remus should be home from Mungo’s any minute, it was winter hols, Andromeda had Teddy for the rest of the night...if he was going to broach the subject, this was the best time. 

Sure enough, the sound of Remus’s footsteps sounded on the stairs, slightly faster than their usual, measured pace. The man himself entered, beaming. 

“Did it work?” Sirius asked, nervousness momentarily forgotten in the face of his husband’s delight. Remus beamed larger, if possible. 

“That snake bite that Fawcett got healed in under thirty minutes!” he exclaimed. “It’s an unprecedented success for a new technology. They’re messing with some other healing-resistant wounds right now, but at the rate we’re going, Healer Clearwater thinks that she might be able to use the same ideas to longer term issues in the next trials.” 

“So how exactly does it work?” Sirius asked, smiling in response to Remus’s joy. 

“Basically, she isolated some kind of protein in my blood--you know that, that was ages ago--that apparently facilitates the healing process, speeds it up. So with enough of that protein, synthetically created in the potions lab, it can help with stubborn wounds. Remember when Arthur got bitten by Voldemort’s snake? It took them ages to figure out how to stop the poison from reopening the wound. Fawcett’s was like that, she’s a magizoologist at the preserve down south, and some venomous snake apparently bit her. She’s been flat on her back for about three months, because every single time they tried something, the venom reopened the wound and her body’s healing mechanisms didn’t kick in, because the venom represses it, I guess? So the protein basically kickstarted healing, and then the spells and potions they used actually worked.”

“That’s wonderful,” Sirius kissed him on the cheek. Remus nodded fervently.

“Yeah, glad tearing myself apart once a month can help someone,” he said, dryly, but Sirius could hear the actual joy behind it. Remus did love making a difference, after all. “How was your day?” he asked, seemingly noticing the nerves that were beginning to make a reappearance.

“I want to talk to you about something.” Sirius blurted out. Remus’s face grew serious. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked. Sirius nodded, handing him the copy of the Prophet he was still holding.

“Can you...can you just read this article?” Remus gave him a searching stare and nodded. Sirius practically had the article memorized by now.

**Former Death Eater Makes Magical Medical Advancement**

_ By Rita Skeeter _

Draco Malfoy’s name is almost as infamous as the Mark on his arm, but he seems determined to change that with his work in the research division of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Mr. Malfoy, who earned his Mastery in Potions from the Sorbonne in 2001, has been working on various forms of this project since he joined the Mungo’s staff shortly after graduating. Some may question Mungo’s decision to allow a (attempted) murderer to work with volatile magic, but surely, they must have information that this reporter does not! 

One aspect of this project has undergone some trials already: a vessel that acts as a mother’s womb. “It began as a way to help women who can’t safely have a child for one reason or another,” he explained. This project seems particularly close to home for Mr. Malfoy, who revealed that his wife was the inspiration behind the original idea. While this reporter would not like to be a test subject for a Death Eater, Mr. Malfoy claims that it is entirely safe. “My own wife and I are in the process of undergoing a trial, as she cannot give birth safely, so yes, I am confident in its function,” he told me, his infamous short temper that provoked so many fights with The Chosen One showing through his supposedly professional appearance.

While the word of one of Voldemort’s cronies may not assure you, dear readers, never fear. This latest project was developed with aide from Headmistress Minerva McGonagall and Professor Filius Flitwick from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, foremost experts in Transfiguration and Charms, respectively, as well as several unnamed high-ranking Ministry employees. As to why the current Headmistress would agree to work with the man who attempted to kill the former Headmaster, my readers may only speculate. 

Now, it seems as though Mr. Malfoy cannot stop attempting to control the natural processes of life--from murderer to medical ‘miracle’ worker. The latest development allows for same-sex couples to have children that are biologically theirs, through a combination of a potion, spellwork, and the use of the fake womb for men. When asked about the inspiration behind this particular move, Mr. Malfoy did not give much of an explanation.

“I presume that there are gay people who want to have children of their own, and the adoption process is even harder than usual, both in the Muggle and Wizarding worlds,” he told me. I found it interesting, dear readers, that he brought up the people for whom he has such a famous hatred! I also must wonder, as I am sure you do too--could there be reasons other than Astoria Malfoy’s (nee Greengrass) supposed inability to have children that Mr. Malfoy is so interested in this subject? His well-cut purple robes and neat vest at this interview certainly suggest so.

If there are any same-sex witches or wizards with little regard for the wellbeing of their potential offspring, Mr. Malfoy is looking for volunteers for final stage clinical trials. You may inform him of your death wish by owl. He assures me that it is perfectly safe, and this is the final stage of trials, but his family did host He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for a year, so he may still have a few tricks up his sleeve.

Remus took forever to read it, and Sirius couldn’t stop fidgeting. Finally, Remus set the paper down and looked back up at Sirius.

“More of Skeeter’s usual shit, I should think,” Remus said, carefully. It was true. Sirius would never like Malfoy much, but Narcissa and Andromeda had began talking after the war, and both Malfoys had a relationship with Teddy as a result. He had even been to Malfoy Manor on several occasions--something which neither Remus nor Sirius would have permitted if Lucius hadn’t been locked firmly in Azkaban. Still, the article was verging on ridiculous in its insults. 

“Yes.” Sirius agreed. Remus stared at him, expression inscrutable. 

“You want to have a child?” he asked. Sirius opened his mouth and found that words were not coming to him. He nodded. “What about Ted?”

That, Sirius had an answer to. “I think Ted’s jealous James is getting a younger brother, to be honest. And he’s good with Jamie, much better than you’d expect a seven year old to be with a child that young.”

“We’re starting to get on in years,” Remus, predictably, pointed out. “What if one of us gets sick or something?”

“We’re only 47!” Sirius objected. “Anyway, you had a kid in the middle of a war. It doesn’t get riskier than that.”

“Yes and then I nearly orphaned him.”

“Well there’s nothing worse than that! Anyone could get sick, Re, or die. Lily and James had a kid young, and look what happened to them.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Also in the middle of a war.”

Sirius sighed. “If you don’t want to have another kid I understand. But money isn’t an issue, as I have the whole Black fortune at my disposal. Space isn’t an issue, I can just give up my home office. As for age, we’re wizards! We’ve got a much longer life expectancy than muggles. So I think we could.”

Remus was smiling at him softly and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. “Where’s Polaris?” 

Sirius blinked. “My owl?”

“Yes, I rather think we need to send Draco Malfoy an owl.”

Sirius gaped at him and then let out a whoop, embracing Remus. 

***

_ One month later _

“Okay, have you finished signing those forms?” Malfoy strode in just as Sirius put the last flourish on the word Lupin-Black. 

“Yes!” He responded, trying not to bounce excitedly. Malfoy rolled his eyes at him. 

“Calm down, Black, you know you’re not  _ actually _ having sex to make this baby, right?” Sirius chose to ignore him. Remus chuckled lightly. “Now, have you thought about which one of you will be giving sperm in its natural form and which one’s sperm will undergo the potions and spells?” 

Remus and Sirius were both taken aback. “Erm...does it matter?” Remus asked, finally. Sirius could tell it was only professionalism that kept Malfoy from rolling his eyes again.

“Not normally, but if, for instance, one of you was the last living heir to a significant pureblood dynasty, hypothetically, then it would be important for magical property law, bloodlines, etcetera for your offspring to be  _ fathered  _ by that person,” he said, with Malfoy-family-characteristic snideness that Sirius remembered all-too-clearly from when Lucius first starting courting his cousin. 

“What if it’s a girl?” Remus asked. Yes, this is why he was the smart one. 

Malfoy shrugged, a gesture that looked very out of place. “Given that the only other immediate Black heirs are also female, she would still be named heir upon her birth, I believe, as Sirius is alive. If he was dead, it would go to Teddy, but that is a non-issue. Either way, it’s one of your children.” 

“But Harry can still keep Grimmauld Place? I think he likes it, for some unknown reason,” Sirius put in, squeezing Remus’s hand at the mention of him being dead. He had felt his husband tense up--even after almost eight years since his Jesus-day (and yes, he had had a field day when Hermione, Remus, and Harry explained Jesus to him), it was still a bit of a sore spot. 

“Honestly, Black, don’t you know anything about pureblood law?” Apparently they had pushed Malfoy to his limits. “I assume once you were legally declared not-dead, you somehow formally gave it to him, am I correct? Otherwise it would have magically expelled him from the premises by now.” 

“Oh. Yes. We did that,” Sirius realized, feeling rather silly. “I did know that, you know. But then I spent a couple years dead, which is murder on your memory for unimportant details, not to mention twelve--”

“Years in Azkaban, yes, I’m familiar,” Malfoy muttered. Sirius did have a habit of using it for special treatment as much as possible, so he wasn’t surprised. “So which of you wants to be the so-called father, then?” He added, his tone switching back to efficient professionalism. 

“Erm. Me, then, I guess?” Sirius said,Malfoy gave a quick nod and scribbled something on his omnipresent parchment with an ostentatious eagle feather quill. Some things never changed, Sirius supposed. 

“Excellent. You’ve already provided the samples, so we should know within two weeks the success rate, now that you’ve signed the papers,” Malfoy said, grabbing their forms. “I’ll owl soon.” 

***

Nine months and some change later, they brought Nymphadora “Dora” Hope Lupin-Black home for the first time. Her older brother was so excited that he cried. Her godparents, Ron and Hermione Granger-Weasley also cried. Her uncle-or-whatever Harry, aunt Ginny, and kind of cousins James and Albus also also cried--although in Albus’s case, it was probably because he was not that much older than Dora herself. Her grandmother in all but name, Andromeda Tonks, and her grand-aunt, Narcissa Malfoy were there, as were her god-grandparents--was that a thing?--who had cooked the entire meal. Her doctor-slash-almost-cousin-slash-just-awarded-Order-of-Merlin-winner Draco Malfoy was there.  It was a family day, full of food, drinks, celebration, and a very overwhelmed newborn who wailed right along with everyone who was excited she was alive and finally there. It was a very tear-filled evening, overall. 

Through his own tears, sitting next to his husband with his daughter in his arms and his son on his husband’s lab, Sirius knew he had never been happier in his entire life. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I tried to build up to them having a second kid as a surprise, which is why there is no mention of Dora in the two chapters where Teddy is older! I do vaguely allude to her when noting that everyone but Sirius and Teddy are gone but yes...just know that was on purpose.


End file.
